Filed Under: Alzheimers
Speak up Sonny, I canna hear ye!
Leprechaun judges like C.J. Vaughey loves them some Speedway Bombers! Don't be google'in the Speedway Bomber on St. Patty's Day, or ye'll be needin' the luck o'the Irish!
Previously, on Battlestar Galactica...
Note To Self: Stay Out Of Maryland
Did Ron Brynaert Swat Mike Stack and Patterico?
What Did Barbara Streisand Know, and When Did She Know It?
Top Signs You Are Being Harassed By the Speedway Bomber
Foo Birds and Close Screamers
World's Greatest Detective
Just to get you up to speed (because this whole Kimberlin affair is becoming the world's largest inside joke), check out Stacy McCain's epic writing about the whole everything. Over a case of Irish Beer. I suspect this will be the subject of his next book.
Patterico and Stranahan are crowd-sourcing an effort to get the juiciest bits of the hearing transcribed. They've already gotten some interesting gems:
Judge: I'm Irish, OK? And one of the things the Irish are the best at in the world is boxing. And a real good Irish middleweight is a counterpuncher. He doesn't throw the first punch. But boy he let's the second one go he's got ya, see. You decide to battle and he comes back. And see, you're... you.. you're the kind of guy, you don't want to get into this to settle it. Mano y mano. You want to get all these friends who got nothing else to do with their time, in this judge's opinion, because my God, I'm a little bit older than you are, and I haven't got enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do and I thought by retirement I would have less to do. I got more. Because everybody knows I'm free. They all come to me, but you... you are starting a, a conflagration, for lack of a better word. And you're just letting the thing go recklessly no matter where it goes. I mean, you get some, and I'm going to use [unclear] freak somewhere up Oklahoma got nothing better to do with his time, so he does his nastiest things in the world he can do to this poor gentleman. What right does that guy got to do it?
Walker: He has no right to do that, your honor.
Judge: [unclear]... You incited him.
Walker: But your honor, I did not incite within the Brandenburg standard...
[42:57] Judge: Well, forget Brandenburg. Let's go with Vaughey right now, and common sense out in the world. But you know where I grew up in Brooklyn, when that stuff was pulled, it was settled real quickly. Very quickly. I'm not going to talk about those ways; but boy it ended fast. [unclear] the day when I grew up in my community, you wanted to date and Italian girl, you had to get the Italian boy's permission. But that was the old neighborhoods back in the city. And it was really fair. When someone did something up there to you, your sister, your girlfriend, you got some friends to take them for a ride in the back of the truck.
Walker: Well, your honor...
Judge: That ended it. You guys have got this new mechanical stuff, uh, the electronic stuff, that you can, uh, just ruin somebody without doing anything.
Yes, let's just forget Brandenburg. You know, that Supreme Court decision. Also, let's forget that Brett Kimberlin called Walker's employers and got him and his wife fired from their jobs. Forget that Brett Kimberlin is known as the Speedway Bomber for a reason. He bombed people.
Also: let's forget Guttenberg, what with all that mechanical type out there and stuff, the peasants might learn to read. And then where would we be?
Oh hell, let's just forget everything and let C.J. Vaughey duke it out with some handle-bar moustached Irishmen. Or something.
Somebody get Jackass Judge C.J. Vaughey an Irish beer and tell him to go back into retirement.
Update 1: Wait a minute. When jackass judge C.J. Vaughey says "But that was the old neighborhoods back in the city. And it was really fair. When someone did something up there to you, your sister, your girlfriend, you got some friends to take them for a ride in the back of the truck..." is he giving advice to the Speedway Bomber, or telling Walker how the two of them should really settle it? Or is he just reminiscing about the good old days of Judge Roy Bean?
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